Ode to a new year

It's 7am.  I have a lot to do b4 the clock  strikes 12. Putting the final nail in the coffin of single digits.
2010 is my friend
2010 is my friend
2010 is my friend
My friend
My mantra
I can no longer stand
broken promises
Past mistakes 
Bad attitudes (mine and others)
The final moments of this Bitch
Has brought on the wrath of Satan .
Me clawing my way out of hell
To grasp a New Reality.
A purer version of myself.
The clock ticks
I throw water to protect
From final attacks
I should pray and do
Friends look like
Enimies in these
Last hours
Unwitting pawns
In the war against
Change
Battle fatigued
I hold my bloody flag
A declaration
A tattered note to self:
I AM HEAD BITCH!
Planting it seals
The fate on 'pretty puppy'.
My quiver is full
Hand shaking I take aim
1 arrow
2 then 3
Hitting random targets
Excrement and vomit
Skeleton spooks
Jangle limbs in
Retaliation
I launch more
Arrows
And listen
For the chime
Of the church bells
Out side my window
Not yet 8am
It's gray and cold
Between cracks of 
Curtained windows
I hear the church  bells
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
It's gonna be a long day.

Tain Observations

I sat between 2 men today.
The smell of after shave, early morning sweat and the Daily News filled my nostrils provoking CHILDHOOD sense memory of DEAD PAPA.
smiles, hugs and weed runs.

Train observations / Transparent

Transparent

For a little bit of time now I've 
Seen you on the train
Head down in a book
Always the same
Tried to catch your glance
But not a chance seems to me
Definately to you I'm transparent
It's like I'm not there
Transparent
Clearly you see through me
Why must I be to you
Transparent
Try so hard not to stare at you
Try so hard cuz I know that it's rude
But your style your grace it's so apparent you have good taste
Can only imagine your history
you seem so good to me
And though we may be a perfect match that's if your unattached 
You still an itch I can not scratch 
Why must I be to you transparent
The invisible one forgettable
Transparent
Though we may be cut from
Similar cloth
Transparent

Sick days = vacation

Recently my company was obsorbed by a larger one.
We are going through a process known as "integration"
in this " integration" they have taken away certain non essential holidays (MLK)Day
taken away, personal days and shrank the number of vacation days, particularly for those not considered in the higher corporate realm.
I have been reflecting on this.
One of my bosses made a statement about the number of "sick days" he has taken, none was his braggadocious claim.
To which I wanted to say "eat me", the "work from home" option is available to certain salaried employees and management.
So my question to him ( in my mind) was yeah but how many fuckin days did you "work from home?"
further reflection has caused me to evaluate "sick days" and what that means to the majority of poor working folk.
I distinctly remember being in employment situations that did not provide vacation days though so The survival technique became clear,You take a sick day for which you could still retain something that resembled a paycheck.
I was thinking about this because even though I work in a "better situation" I have blown through my sick days. I have actually been sick but I wonder if I suffer too from an urban survivalist blight, Residual from my artist poverty. I don't know.
What I do know though is I'm not where I was in the work world but still a far cry from "work from home."
Still in my mind the question, does sickday = vacation?

Train observations / little kindness

The impulse to catch the person standing on the train when the train lurches forward. ( the person being a Hasidic Jew who has no love or consideration for you by custom)

The person next to you sitting on the train adjust himself once you've sat down giving you more room.

Seat opens up, Hasid man sits with no regard to women, older folks or children.

Train observations

I saw her again, she sat across from me on the train wearing a mock snake skin bag and sand colored clarks. I love her style. 
Searched my bag for a 1N card. The only day I don't have one.
Too bad.

i know where my head is at

i remember a time not so many years ago i was doing things i wouldn't dream of to put food on the table and pay the rent, some of those things were honest and some not as. I was what i said i would never be or buy into a 'struggling artist'. no amount of positive thinking you create your own reality blah blah was helping. i lived desperate, it overcame me. my nightmare? a giant apple seeking to devour me. and it was. yes i was acting, my chosen art form, but for free or for very low wage nothing that would support life. my hard learned reality was no matter how close you are to the playwrite he WILL dump you to get produced. EVERY TIME. its a jungle and its about survival so i cant hate...easy though to loose yourself and your values in that jungle. easy to loose focus and get confused cuz your ass is hungry and not just for food.
today? well i'm ok. i was sick yesterday so i couldn't get it together to think about or express the extent of my thankfulness, my gratefulness. i'm not where i would like to be in life true. im oh so very late... but i work honest. i didn't rob, kill or compromise my values to put my humble meal on the table. I KNOW ME now. i can afford the luxury of my artified self (for now anyway). i can build and grow. i am thankful for this to things seen and unseen, to the dead and the living.
everyday is not sunshine, loli-pops and rainbows but its a day i know where my head is at, a road map i'm happy to own.

her eye inclined toward the pretty woman on the train

Her eye inclined toward the pretty woman on the train, the one with the softness of youth in her cheek and well appointed red coat and back zip black suede boot, the added indulgence. As the young woman played with her recent relaxed hair in her train window reflection, the old woman wondered if the young woman could feel her eyes climb up the inside of her thigh or hear the thoughts she entertained of devouring her like a child would a gum drop. This the tasty temptations of an old woman's morning metro ride.

ya folla me?

they call me chevy nova
x j hova
mind blowa
olda
no ordinary holda of word utterance
is this by chance a case of
fools gold?
molded,coded
for the fornicatin
peace saya's
playa's
of mind game
aint the same
as those with reg head
names
tame's the top
that matta's
not
to those not in the know
so
you can call me chevy
eva ready
to defend the
meaning
behind
ALL
names

some random shit

rock band needs so i can scream
fucked numb inside
no vaseline
can it be you heard not me?
you heard not me.
my words to you
like vomit stink
like vomit stink
friends say trust
you almost there
trusts just a word
the real cant bare
people they so hard
out there
cold like ice from fridgidars
they make me scared
but then i ask
why do i care?
a losing bet
haven't learned that lesson yet
pulsating pain we soon forget.
half full looks half empty again.
the other side tries to pull you in
where are the friends when this begins
where are the friends?
im hearing what my daddy said
he's living now among the dead
his words are never truer said
you start alone and their you end.
rock band dreams so i can scream
fucked numb inside
no vaseline
can it be you heard not me?
you heard not me
no worries all who read the line
just me inside my crying time
sometimes better left unsaid
some random shit....

n idea~

this will shake the weak of heart

the other night i walked a friend off the edge. in my mind he stood in a place of personal power which is why we feel so lost and powerless when someone completes this mission..in my opinion. he spoke of lack of love, particularly mothers love and the love of his children. he said his cell never rang so he made a practice of not bringing it. he felt a lack of accomplishment in his life and hated his job. he shared his notes left with strategic precision around his room. in these notes he echoed the theme of feeling as a piece of shit, of no value, loved by none, no one. as he spoke i looked around at his dark basement apartment and wished there were windows or even white walls,something to reflect light. i thought of the name of a friends just released album, 'gods porno' and his explanation of redemption in the dirty the insignificant the pornographic,the shit. i held him and kissed his face and rubbed his chest in hopes of reminding him of his beating heart. i looked into his eyes and told him i loved him and would miss him in his absence. i claim success only in that i stalled a mission...this time. yet.. i believe in self ownership and self determination. i respect my friend and his right to excercise his personal power.

this is for u J... hotness right?

let's get back to THIS!!!nJoy

I like what she does PUNKY...what can I say? 1n will always give credit when due..feel me?

melvin vanpeebles/caktuz tree -confessions pt1

Caktuz..?13- Yes! (I'm Gonna Make It) ft. Ken Alston Jr.[official video]

my fav artist

I don't know how I feel

I'm sitting in my favorite little get away from work spot eating a very satisfying bowl of seafood soup with a side of sticky rice. It's one of those inbetween days. It no longer feels like summer, not really fall.suppose to rain but sky not ready. Me.. Not happy or sad, not alone but by myself. Almost content after having a reckless night....breaking a fast that had nothing to do with food. Smiling in memory of a dear dead friends words, "live" . This I think is a life time lesson.

new pop got it going on!

props to new pop...check it out

1nSalon feat Kaila

this little woman is a special artist gift to the planet..njoy

novel idea friday night reflecting

the rain smells alkaline and feels hot on my skin.....like tears

lotsohistoryhere/UU and PunkyBluGirl

i love these 2 women...thank you for being in my life

no words

Sometimes art just happens

Its a special birthday today for me, the 4 year anniversary of my Priesthood....afro Cuban baby all the way! yes i did say it. the big thing i realized today is that the gift my peeps have given me is awareness. Most of the time art is all around you. we take it for granted. I woke up this morning and SAW the art of mz Jen-i, just hanging out in my space. she created a hell of a lot more here in her 4 year stay....hmmmmm any way njoy Jen-i @ 1nSalon

crash course

this cat named luis is painting my living room.. took me a few years to make that happen. it looks so clean..sometimes you hold onto things even without knowing. these things are metaphors..we have them all through our lives you know...painting my living room is like the final big "ok i'm REALLY over it" what a spiritual experience. I can now move on.
I feel like this year lessons are slapping me all in the face, a crash course Speed demoning me to real adulthood.
as i look at my white, white room i can say to myself "LIFE FEELS GOOD".....again

that empty pit

have u ever felt a profound emptiness in the pit of your stomach...a lonelines... out of nowhere?
makes u wonder if there is such a service as dial-a-hug.... would engage that service about now.....
but for, white flowers and other things to
clean, clean, clean it all away.

halo!!!!!

check for this party produced by wikdsista promotion..
promises to be the coolness.........
info on punkyBLUgirl blog!!

feeling blessed

1nmediagroup got the gig branding Small Schools for Equity,
a socially conscience nfp that helps to facilitate a just educational environment for kids in the bay area.

mz meredith

candace doin the damn thang :)

PunkyBlugirl fabulous as ever!

she aight..lol!!!nah really. i have mad love for this one...some folks will be in your life for ever.

novel idea's summer roll recipe

Those rice things that are real thin
(buy at any Korean market)
Any cool crisp vegi you want
Shrimp (if you like)
sauce:
Honey
Low sodium soy sauce
a lime
Black sesame seed
Chili powder

Wet the thin rice wrap until limp
Wrap all your shit up tight like a burrito

mix up the sauce to taste

Plate and garnish

1n / my home

1n / my home

1n / my home

keep it clean

I realized something about inspiration this morning, for me it's directly related to a clean orderly environment. I understand the saying "cleanliness is next to godliness" now. I'm not perfect but I am recognizing the difference in my focus and my serenity when my home is in order. I feel light......able to appreciate the gifts that are spirit driven.

when will i do this?

http://www.aidswalk.net/NEWYORK/takeaction/register.html

novel idea's summer rolls

transistion

sometimes you have to trust your process. i have always been late on things and i judged myself hard because of it. for example, i started a website a couple years ago, payed a lot of money for it yet i had no content because my company was not defined. i was all out of context because i wasn't honoring myself and my particular strengths. when people broke ways with me i was hurt at the time, yet it forced me to access who 'I' am, what are the unique gifts 'I' bring to the table.... essentially what is my business on the planet. two years later.. this morning as a matter of fact i had my Aha moment.... stay tuned for the website link..:)

Soul Classic .. Dobie Gray

1n crowd

Morning 4:17 am

Good weekends are precious. This weekend was filled with break through. Met new and exciting people, was on my creative game, excercised creating healthy boundaries and realized my limitations.
Expectation can be the killer of friendship. I have to check myself sometime. People don't always respond the way you wish them too. They may not share your enthusiasms. Nor should they. Sometimes your gifts are for you alone, your lessons...
Peace to the world and my precious followers. I love you.

1nSalon featuring Candace Cooks

watch as Candace prepares a wonderful snapper brunch

me

taking a note from a friend: 1nSALON again

branding project: PunkSista

1nSalon logo and tag

tell me what you think?

1nSalon featuring Candace sharing her soul

this was an extraordinary evening, having met Candace and experiencing her warmth and talent.
she IS a star....

branding project: nude a party

summer 2009/1nSALON

this summer has been decent... don't sleep on the new iphone folks, the video though not perfect (light factor sucks) is giving an opportunity to capture some cool moments with some cool peeps of mine, my beautiful creative fam. got some cool iphone footage of punkyBLUgirl on a natural tip.. just vibin.. shows her to be smart, witty and beautiful.(check for her blog) when i get her permission i will post it

on some other shit though, sometimes its ez to just let life slip you by.. living in your head. i live in my head a lot!, getting outside it has been real cool..experiential, how life SHOULD be.

note:
the sessions at my home that i vid factor are on some 1nSALON shit, artist n kind just vibin and being real.

stay tuned!

No try. DO!

Sometime when you try...you no do.you try.. NO DO....do.

Had that amazing mole meal from the hands of Jose Luis and the beautiful Shara. The Grand Ms Belinda was in attendence and food from my garden.. Thank you Al. Pics will be posted.

Could a had a V8

e is 4 effort & evaporation

.... i had a false start this weekend. all the best intentions of activity, sunshine soaked activity with the coolest couple i believe i have met in a long time, but the old self.. dark and defiant, indifferent to sunny days and cool people surfaced. watched the sun leave the rain start and my weekend evaporate like the steam of mixed weather days like cold with hot. the weekend.. the metaphor.

Howard has a beach?

After a two week work out sabbatical my trainer took me back. So all day I anticipated a work out that would have me close to throng hugging that would rival the worst drunk. Instead he says, with great command, "we going on a bike ride". If I was a bit more secure in my position with him I would have told him to kiss my ass! I'm glad I didn't. He took me on a 15 minute ride away from my cares , certainly away from yesterdays residual. As we approached ground zero my minds imaginings of body wreckage, I started to smell the sweet sea air and feel the coolness on my skin from his open car window. The terror of riding a bike after 20 of not was slipping away. I was transported. I felt a sense memory of Pismo beach and child hood.
The bike ride? I did not die.
In fact I enjoyed it. Funny what 15 minutes of departure and a little sea air can do for the spirit.

Todays challenge, tomorrows nightmare

I got up early today.. Happy to have a slave just to keep the roof over my head. So I indulge the powers that be with the remnents of talent.. Left over golden voice meant for shakspere or some shit.. Now used to telprospect. I had a fuckin rough day. Now I anticipate an earlier arrival, more phone calls and left messages,it is summer for some, and a guarrentee of absolutly no commission check for me.
Is this the kind of stuff you want to hear? Cuz it's all i got.

Guest Mix-AD Bourke (7/17/09)

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P.O.S - Optimist

trim'n the fat/pay attention

it's rough outside in the world these days.. but through it all i'm experiencing great blessing, blessing in understanding that hard work is ok, it invigorates. as for me?, bursting with creative ideas ...(trim'n the fat) in my life to make way for the good things, but also to keep focused without the busy, the weighty. this out here on a world scope is deep, no doubt, yet i believe it is the REAL oportunity for change. pay attention......

Headlock - Imogen Heap /Im late

B.J. the Chicago Kid - “Make It Right”

fuckin brilliant!!!!

B.J. the Chicago Kid - “A Change Is Gonna Come”

B.J. the Chicago Kid - "A Change Is Gonna Come" from b.j. the chicago kid on Vimeo.

Official Video k-os - 4 3 2 1

What's a Girl To Do/batforlashes

the invisible....hot!! thanks stereo cupcake!

the new pop road team ....history

About Kissey Asplund

SISSY NOBBY -LOOPY

this is the song yo!!!.put it together

sissy nobby-new orleans bounce n parking lot

some friendz (momma b) share the ass fest

sissy nobby-new orleans bounce block party

sissy nobby-new orleans bounce 2

sissy nobby-new orleans bounce

dj vyzor...brazillian grooves 03

a letter to belinda

today is Martin Luther King .day...He made it possible for us to look beyond our imposed limitations to accomplish what seemed to be impossible.
tomorrow we will witness the swearing in of the first Black president, Barack Obama!.. now our only limitations are the ones we impose upon ourselves.....
Belinda anything is possible now....We can make our dreams reality!

BEHIND THE SCENES RAPHAEL SAADIQ/the new pop

new pop always doing something fly....much respect

Gnarls Barkley - "Who's Gonna Save My Soul"

Gnarls Barkley - New Music - More Music Videos

the fear..lily allen

The Fear video

Novalima!...the hotness

this my pod yall!..(conniejonesexperience)

djobah's Podcast