francisco

mexican gogo boys dance to heaven
changing perception of old black women
fire and sex the things of hell
will never tell its all the same
its all the same

blame the beast who eats the children
blame the beast who never loses
life and times of whats accepted
goes and goes uninterrupted

mexican gogo boys dance to heaven
changing perception of old black women
fire and sex the things of hell
will never tell its all the same
its all the same

dance you fuckin bastards dance
dance you fuckin bastards dance
its all a trance its all a trance
fake circumstance fake circumstance

don't stop to think or wonder why
too soon you'll die

1N

A song

Sun drenched locks n winta tops
Ya
Infinite love of living
stuff surrounds ya
Can I be the one that you
Text when the next is not
Enough?
Can I be your right wing
The real thing that UR
Thinkin of......?
Met ya on the street
Yeh the street mayb
A train station n
Brooklyn

Thought you looked
Unique couldn't tell
If you was sweet
Even approachable
Gave you my card
Suggested email
If you would reach out
just couldn't .. Tell
But ya did...so happy!

UR my new friend/chorus
UR my new friend/chorus
My new friend oh oh oh oh...

Right arm tatted full back tatted
Lip/tongue pierced magnetic
Incomprehendable
sage burner
Head turner.. What's fundamental...
I think
U fantastic!

All I do is think about cha
What I want ta do with lights out
One things certain it's
Not a conversation for faint of heart

Contemplating the way you make my stomach feel.k Don't really wanta know
What it means ain't felt that
in years.. scared.... So scared
But bring it on bring it on
It's such a thrill!!

UR my new friend/chorus
UR my new friend/chorus
My new friend
Repeat.

By Novel Idea

1NSalon

Ode to a new year

It's 7am.  I have a lot to do b4 the clock  strikes 12. Putting the final nail in the coffin of single digits.
2010 is my friend
2010 is my friend
2010 is my friend
My friend
My mantra
I can no longer stand
broken promises
Past mistakes 
Bad attitudes (mine and others)
The final moments of this Bitch
Has brought on the wrath of Satan .
Me clawing my way out of hell
To grasp a New Reality.
A purer version of myself.
The clock ticks
I throw water to protect
From final attacks
I should pray and do
Friends look like
Enimies in these
Last hours
Unwitting pawns
In the war against
Change
Battle fatigued
I hold my bloody flag
A declaration
A tattered note to self:
I AM HEAD BITCH!
Planting it seals
The fate on 'pretty puppy'.
My quiver is full
Hand shaking I take aim
1 arrow
2 then 3
Hitting random targets
Excrement and vomit
Skeleton spooks
Jangle limbs in
Retaliation
I launch more
Arrows
And listen
For the chime
Of the church bells
Out side my window
Not yet 8am
It's gray and cold
Between cracks of 
Curtained windows
I hear the church  bells
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
It's gonna be a long day.

Tain Observations

I sat between 2 men today.
The smell of after shave, early morning sweat and the Daily News filled my nostrils provoking CHILDHOOD sense memory of DEAD PAPA.
smiles, hugs and weed runs.

Train observations / Transparent

Transparent

For a little bit of time now I've 
Seen you on the train
Head down in a book
Always the same
Tried to catch your glance
But not a chance seems to me
Definately to you I'm transparent
It's like I'm not there
Transparent
Clearly you see through me
Why must I be to you
Transparent
Try so hard not to stare at you
Try so hard cuz I know that it's rude
But your style your grace it's so apparent you have good taste
Can only imagine your history
you seem so good to me
And though we may be a perfect match that's if your unattached 
You still an itch I can not scratch 
Why must I be to you transparent
The invisible one forgettable
Transparent
Though we may be cut from
Similar cloth
Transparent

Sick days = vacation

Recently my company was obsorbed by a larger one.
We are going through a process known as "integration"
in this " integration" they have taken away certain non essential holidays (MLK)Day
taken away, personal days and shrank the number of vacation days, particularly for those not considered in the higher corporate realm.
I have been reflecting on this.
One of my bosses made a statement about the number of "sick days" he has taken, none was his braggadocious claim.
To which I wanted to say "eat me", the "work from home" option is available to certain salaried employees and management.
So my question to him ( in my mind) was yeah but how many fuckin days did you "work from home?"
further reflection has caused me to evaluate "sick days" and what that means to the majority of poor working folk.
I distinctly remember being in employment situations that did not provide vacation days though so The survival technique became clear,You take a sick day for which you could still retain something that resembled a paycheck.
I was thinking about this because even though I work in a "better situation" I have blown through my sick days. I have actually been sick but I wonder if I suffer too from an urban survivalist blight, Residual from my artist poverty. I don't know.
What I do know though is I'm not where I was in the work world but still a far cry from "work from home."
Still in my mind the question, does sickday = vacation?

Train observations / little kindness

The impulse to catch the person standing on the train when the train lurches forward. ( the person being a Hasidic Jew who has no love or consideration for you by custom)

The person next to you sitting on the train adjust himself once you've sat down giving you more room.

Seat opens up, Hasid man sits with no regard to women, older folks or children.

Train observations

I saw her again, she sat across from me on the train wearing a mock snake skin bag and sand colored clarks. I love her style. 
Searched my bag for a 1N card. The only day I don't have one.
Too bad.

i know where my head is at

i remember a time not so many years ago i was doing things i wouldn't dream of to put food on the table and pay the rent, some of those things were honest and some not as. I was what i said i would never be or buy into a 'struggling artist'. no amount of positive thinking you create your own reality blah blah was helping. i lived desperate, it overcame me. my nightmare? a giant apple seeking to devour me. and it was. yes i was acting, my chosen art form, but for free or for very low wage nothing that would support life. my hard learned reality was no matter how close you are to the playwrite he WILL dump you to get produced. EVERY TIME. its a jungle and its about survival so i cant hate...easy though to loose yourself and your values in that jungle. easy to loose focus and get confused cuz your ass is hungry and not just for food.
today? well i'm ok. i was sick yesterday so i couldn't get it together to think about or express the extent of my thankfulness, my gratefulness. i'm not where i would like to be in life true. im oh so very late... but i work honest. i didn't rob, kill or compromise my values to put my humble meal on the table. I KNOW ME now. i can afford the luxury of my artified self (for now anyway). i can build and grow. i am thankful for this to things seen and unseen, to the dead and the living.
everyday is not sunshine, loli-pops and rainbows but its a day i know where my head is at, a road map i'm happy to own.

her eye inclined toward the pretty woman on the train

Her eye inclined toward the pretty woman on the train, the one with the softness of youth in her cheek and well appointed red coat and back zip black suede boot, the added indulgence. As the young woman played with her recent relaxed hair in her train window reflection, the old woman wondered if the young woman could feel her eyes climb up the inside of her thigh or hear the thoughts she entertained of devouring her like a child would a gum drop. This the tasty temptations of an old woman's morning metro ride.

ya folla me?

they call me chevy nova
x j hova
mind blowa
olda
no ordinary holda of word utterance
is this by chance a case of
fools gold?
molded,coded
for the fornicatin
peace saya's
playa's
of mind game
aint the same
as those with reg head
names
tame's the top
that matta's
not
to those not in the know
so
you can call me chevy
eva ready
to defend the
meaning
behind
ALL
names

some random shit

rock band needs so i can scream
fucked numb inside
no vaseline
can it be you heard not me?
you heard not me.
my words to you
like vomit stink
like vomit stink
friends say trust
you almost there
trusts just a word
the real cant bare
people they so hard
out there
cold like ice from fridgidars
they make me scared
but then i ask
why do i care?
a losing bet
haven't learned that lesson yet
pulsating pain we soon forget.
half full looks half empty again.
the other side tries to pull you in
where are the friends when this begins
where are the friends?
im hearing what my daddy said
he's living now among the dead
his words are never truer said
you start alone and their you end.
rock band dreams so i can scream
fucked numb inside
no vaseline
can it be you heard not me?
you heard not me
no worries all who read the line
just me inside my crying time
sometimes better left unsaid
some random shit....

n idea~

this will shake the weak of heart

the other night i walked a friend off the edge. in my mind he stood in a place of personal power which is why we feel so lost and powerless when someone completes this mission..in my opinion. he spoke of lack of love, particularly mothers love and the love of his children. he said his cell never rang so he made a practice of not bringing it. he felt a lack of accomplishment in his life and hated his job. he shared his notes left with strategic precision around his room. in these notes he echoed the theme of feeling as a piece of shit, of no value, loved by none, no one. as he spoke i looked around at his dark basement apartment and wished there were windows or even white walls,something to reflect light. i thought of the name of a friends just released album, 'gods porno' and his explanation of redemption in the dirty the insignificant the pornographic,the shit. i held him and kissed his face and rubbed his chest in hopes of reminding him of his beating heart. i looked into his eyes and told him i loved him and would miss him in his absence. i claim success only in that i stalled a mission...this time. yet.. i believe in self ownership and self determination. i respect my friend and his right to excercise his personal power.

this is for u J... hotness right?

let's get back to THIS!!!nJoy

I like what she does PUNKY...what can I say? 1n will always give credit when due..feel me?

melvin vanpeebles/caktuz tree -confessions pt1

Caktuz..?13- Yes! (I'm Gonna Make It) ft. Ken Alston Jr.[official video]

my fav artist

I don't know how I feel

I'm sitting in my favorite little get away from work spot eating a very satisfying bowl of seafood soup with a side of sticky rice. It's one of those inbetween days. It no longer feels like summer, not really fall.suppose to rain but sky not ready. Me.. Not happy or sad, not alone but by myself. Almost content after having a reckless night....breaking a fast that had nothing to do with food. Smiling in memory of a dear dead friends words, "live" . This I think is a life time lesson.